Tag Archive | personaldevelopment

Accepting Who You Are

Kindness Challengers, Here is a blog post with an exercise related to self-compassion. Be good to yourself, give it a try…

Find Your Middle Ground

opening heart

I love this exercise from Steve Flowers and Bob Stahl in “Living with Your Heart Wide Open”. This is a book I’d also recommend for those of you who would like to cultivate more mindfulness and compassion in your lives, while freeing yourselves from unworthiness, inadequacy and shame.

“Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. You may not be perfect, but you are all you’ve got to work with. The process of becoming who you will be begins first with the total acceptance of who you are.”

~ Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

Self Compassion Exercise:

If you met with a friend and she confided in you that she felt completely worthless and ashamed, how would you try to comfort her? What would you tell her to so the her troubled heart? In what other ways would you express your loving kindness and compassion?

Take a few minutes to reflect on this…

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All You Need is Love, Sweet Love-Kindness Challenge Week 1

KindnessWeek1 SelfloveMy Week 1 Kindness Challenge of Self-love had a theme song. Lionel Richie and his Commodores have randomly and quietly been singing lines of Sweet Love to me over and over and over. I inwardly smile each time this mellow song finds its way into my head. It was comforting, supportive guidance. Let me acquaint you with a few lines from this week’s theme song:


Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Sweet love (Sweet love, well)

I know you’re searchin’

I know you’re searchin’ for a little love

The Commodores were correct, I was searching. Searching for my definition of self-love by starting with questions.   What is self-love?   What actions are self-loving?   When am I feeling self-love but don’t embrace it?   What is the difference between self-loving and self-centered?   When I am self-loving what does my life look like and feel like?   Does my life improve if I live from and with self-love?  Or does my life not improve but instead naturally align to my spiritual truth?

These questions revealed my truth of self-love. During the week, I experienced self-love as a healing balm, guiding wisdom, and a bunch of good feelings! Each morning, I gently reminded myself to feel self-love. I took a moment to imagine an inner emotional landscape being bathed in self-love.  Of course, it felt enjoyable, but it was so much more than that.

It created a world where unhealed emotions, like depression, fear, and hurt came to soothe themselves. The wounds and traumas that birthed these feelings felt safe, loved, and cared for enough to heal. They were called to the self-loving energy and instinctively opened to heal naturally.

This healing experience had the human sensation of the welcoming effects of the first warm summer-like day. When you feel pulled by the sunlight and warm air to drink it all in by taking a walk or sitting outside. It’s a feeling of refreshment, peace, and relaxation. This is how my unhealed feelings felt in the presence of self-love.

I need to go further with this…my repressed parts, or at least some of them, awakened. I felt unnamed hurts that were always carried with me, loosen up and bathe themselves in the presence of self-love.

My energy of self-love wasn’t only healing the suffering it was guiding me toward activities that were self-loving instead of activities that were distracting or mere habits. When I allowed my attention to follow this feeling of self-love it was like it was waving flags to focus my attention toward the self-loving choice. Each choice was an island and self-love confidently, happily, and purposefully waved her flag, next to the most self-loving choice.

I followed self-loves accurate lead. I needed relaxation and soothing by watching Blue Bloods. This family police drama allows me to spend time with a tight-knit family that supports, connects, and cares for each other. Their struggle and insistence on doing what is good heals and acknowledges a part of me.

Thru this relaxing moment with Blue Bloods, I sensed a very young child part that was ready for healing. This young conscientious part must accomplish grown up tasks that she isn’t developmentally equipped to comprehend. Being a pleaser, she insecurely attempts them while searching the adult faces for validation. The adults don’t fill her needs. This innocent moment in time sets the stage for a lifelong unconscious feeling. An unhealthy sensation of anchoring her little feet and stretching herself to live life years ahead of her emotional development. This adult pleasing part always feels emotionally unbalanced and insecure.

This week the young, stretched thin, insecure part of me was raised to consciousness and acknowledged. The energy of self-love pumped a healing balm thru me thanks to the requests of this week’s Kindness Challenge. While this part isn’t freed from the unbalanced and insecure feelings, yet, it is enjoying being seen and out of subconscious hiding. I can only assume that self-love’s energy will fully heal it.

The Commodores, singing this soothing and healing song of Sweet Love to me this week, offered self-love’s silent healing powers a sound and vibration. I guess the Commodores share the wisdom of the human soul and the Beatles….it turns out, it’s true…All You Need is Love!

6 More, Out of 30 Ways to Celebrate Success

6 More...Out of 30 Ways to Celebrate SuccessIt’s time to continue celebrating my blog growth!

I hope you decide to celebrate a success as well because the honoring expands you into a higher self. At least that’s what I’m learning….

Celebrating began with my 30 Ways to Celebrate Success post, that created a foundation of guidance where I learned surprising concepts. The key concept is that celebrating success equals honoring myself. Honoring myself has a reverent energy, vital for a peaceful opening and growing into a higher version of myself. The reverent act of honoring myself is essential to experiencing growth thru a positive, life affirming energy. This positive influence is literally a light that guides me into a happier life experience.

Plus, it supports my growth in a way that is waayyyy more fun than picking at my mistakes and ruminating over what’s wrong. I for one, prefer to grow by kicking up my heels along this happier pathway.

In my post 6 out of 30 Ways to Celebrate Success, I tried the author’s ideas and blogged about my illuminating experiences. For this post I did some cheering, breathing and a whole lot of nothing which delighted me. This post’s honoring activities:

Take a deep breath

Give goals a one day break

Cross it off your master list

Veg out

Cheer for yourself

Take a day off from work

Treat Yourself to a day of rest and relaxation

Let’s start with the deep breaths and cheers! Cheering and deep breathing a few times, in the privacy of my cottage, produced a pleasant surprise of a loving energy moving thru me. If this energy had an image it would be arrows pointing “THIS way”. Of course, “THIS way” is a positive experience where I dwell and reap the benefit of honoring my accomplishment. MY way is the opposite. MY way, maybe a lot like your way, has my body scrunched up, head down, intense face vigorously poking at the keyboard creating the next to do list. Moving on…as they say!

My intuition hints that my soul has teachings whilst in the realm of honoring. The soul’s teachings were revealed during the downtime activities suggested by the author. With space and time to contemplate, I grew to understand that honoring is a factor in balance and authenticity. By deeply taking stock of my accomplishments my balance shifted. I’m no longer who I was before the accomplishment rooted. This balance transforms my authenticity. My new skills and emotional growth make me different. I can do longer see myself in the same way. This quote by Patricia Spadaro spoke to me. I hope it speaks to you as well…

By honoring yourself, you are respecting, appreciating, and giving birth to your best self so you can give creatively—and abundantly—in ways that honor others.” —Patricia Spadaro in Honor Yourself

Skipping the honoring phase and doing it MY way; I would have missed living the experience of giving birth to my higher self.

Photo Credit – Fantasy Wire

30 Ways to Celebrate Success

honorthyselfHave you honored yourself lately? Elaina Maria, author of Happiness is Overrated – Live the Inspired Life Instead, says “Honoring yourself is not selfish, it’s vital.” So, I’m going to believe her and give it a try.

My mysterious intuition simply and confidently communicates to me that there is indispensable learning to be had thru honoring myself. My hope is my experience will support, name or add to your life experience, as well.

The natural and obvious place to begin is to take stock. Once my original list of blog ideas was completed, I realized it was necessary to evaluate my blogging pathway. What I noted was that I:    –  created a website   –  learned marketing tips and SEO  –  wrote and posted 30 posts   –  reblogged other’s posts –  posted quotes to inspire myself and others   share blog on FBTwitter, Tumbler, MediumGoogle Plus, Pinterest, LinkdIn

Readership Stats:                

January –    12 people checked out my 10 posts. I had 0 likes and 0 comments

February – 191 people checked out my 12 posts. I had 0 likes and 0 comments

March –     410 people checked out my 6 posts. I had 41 likes and 0 comments

April –        507 people checked out my 10 posts. I have 121 likes and 19 comments

 With my technical and marketing growth noted, I felt proud and happy. Blogging to heal my past, welcome my intuitive gifts, and exercise my newly found creativity has guided me to unknown parts of myself that supported and lifted my truest self.

This surprising awakening brought to my mind a quick vision of geometric shapes in warm shades of grey. Nuzzled at the bottom of the shapes sat an orange and yellow glowing egg shaped ball of light. The image pulled me in reminding me that my soul or spirit had a message. My thinking and feeling self sat with the glowing ember to give it space to reveal its message. I sensed that it was guiding me to honor thy self. The feeling was strong, important, and undeniable. Taking stock wasn’t enough, something about the glow of the orange and yellow ball told me there was something to be learned from honoring myself thru these accomplishments.

I started where I usually did when I’m confused with spirit’s message…I went to the “Oracle”…Google. Then searched How do I honor my accomplishments? The all-knowing search engine provided me with this article 30 Ways to Celebrate Your Success.  So that is what I will do! I will celebrate my success by doing all 30 and blogging about the experience. I believe my spirit via the glowing ember wants me to learn something, to know myself better; all the human parts and my soul.

I feel strange, a little sick to my stomach. I assumed only excitement and celebratory cake were in my future as I honor myself in 30 ways but it doesn’t feel that way. As the soap opera announcer says…”Stay tuned for the next installment of…As the Stomach Turns.” HA!  I nervously wonder what honoring myself has in store for me…



Greatness, Interrupted

greatness-interruptedDecades ago, I was mindlessly watching Oprah and admiring beautiful dresses in Vogue Magazine, when Oprah uttered the words, “I’ve always known I was destined for Greatness.” I spun my head toward my roommate and said, “I’m destined for Greatness, too”. It was an awkward moment as my caring roommate gave me a doubtful and quizzical look while my face transformed into a shocked expression when I realized I said it a loud and had no idea why I made this declaration.

As I write this, I remember that my heart felt like it bubbled up with the words printed on it. Including a sense of “knowing”. These words were given to me from somewhere deep inside me. Reflecting now, I can only assume it was from her, my highest self, continuing to leave me bread crumbs to lead me to her guidance. Once again, I did nothing with this information.

Back to my regular life I went…. I didn’t investigate this any further because I had no idea that I could or should look deeper. I started to see these intuitive hits as party tricks, something fun, entertaining, and miraculous like balancing cups in a pyramid shape while riding a unicycle.

A year after this bread crumb was placed on my path, she gave me this identical message again. My boyfriend, at the time, and I were sharing stories about being class officers in our high school and college years, when he said to me, “You are destined for Greatness!” Lacking any ability to communicate effectively in a relationship when the attention was on me, I just stared at him. I’m sure you can imagine what I was thinking. He never clarified and I never asked but there it was another bread crumb left on my life path……

What about you, do you have bread crumbs left on your path? What are they? What do you do with them?


Destiny Knocks

typwriterdestinyknocksAs I start this post in reflection mode, it’s strange to realize how many times she, my highest self, has guided me in big and small ways. I’m remembering a small way she guided me, back when I worked in a hospital. One day I was reading the internal employment listing, noticing a position that appealed to me. In retrospect, the title of the position was almost “speaking” to me. The title had this energy about it that drew me in.  Since, I had only been working in the hospital for a year, I decided it didn’t make sense to learn about this position. Plus, I felt committed to my current career path.

Each time the listing appeared, the title of the position had the same energy of drawing me in. Weeks and then months went by without my ever inquiring about the job. But unbeknownst to me, she, my highest self, was busy at work.

While I was working at my desk, Corinne, a person who worked in the department of the job that was “speaking” to me, told me I had to interview for the job. I told her I wanted to check it out. She charmingly said no I didn’t need to do any research. I needed to apply for the positon.

I’m sure you know how this ends…Yes, I interviewed for the position and was given the job. The Director of the department informed me that they have never hired from outside the department. My job offer was the first time. I worked in that role for five years.

I can’t help but wonder about her. What was she up to and why? Was she, at some level, preparing me for a job change? Did I pick up on some energy of her working with and changing the minds of the people in the department. And the bigger question why was it important for me to move to another department. What was the purpose of her guiding me? Many years later, I still don’t know.

But today, my phone alerted me that I had a message in voicemail. Turns out, it was from one of the coworkers from that destined job.



So Insecure

so-insecureSo, I have a feeling, an internal and external sensation, really. It is subtle, bordering on imperceptible. It feels like a quiet, calm moving energy both inside me and outside of me. I’ve learned that this is my spirit, my highest self. But I’m unsure what, she, is telling me. Plus, I don’t know if I want to use time and access patience to figure her out!

She, my highest self, appears as I peruse the Boden Catalog. Boden, is an English company, selling colorful, sporty, clothing. She, wants me to learn something about myself or my life from this catalog. I’m coming to understand this because of the sensation I’m feeling as I turn the pages. I don’t have any idea what her point is but I’m willing to try.

The story of deciphering her message goes like this………I’ve always loved the Boden catalog. It’s fun to see vintage patterns on casual and feminine clothing. This time the catalog was trying to tell me something. Maybe she is nudging me to take a trip to London or to buy new clothing that I don’t need or honestly, want right now. No, it’s not that! I know this because I don’t experience that sensation of clarity. The “ahha” feeling that is a crystal clear signal from her, my spirit, that I GOT the message.

In reluctant pursuit of the “ahha” feeling, I hold onto my catalog. Usually I peruse; pretend I have Boden Bucks, imaginary dollars that allow me to buy everything I want, and then move the catalog to the recycle bin, after spending my endless supply of Boden bucks. But this time, I carry the catalog around because it is “poking” at me.

I perservere. While I’m looking closely at the photographs, she, releases a positive knowing. This validation inspires me and provides the hint that the message will be fully revealed by detailed study of the pictures. I get an idea that learning Boden’s philosophy and who the Boden woman is will lead me to the message. But, guess what, I didn’t learn anything. So, with my Boden Bucks spent, my frustration mounting,  the message unknown, I tossed the catalog in the recycle bin!

To release frustration, I follow the need to turn on my computer and start typing. Then it happens, the understanding that was frozen within me gives way…and I get it! She, is leading me to the secure, easy energy the photographer captured.  Feeling liberated and pleased, I know I have received the intended message. “Ahha.” Simultaneously, I know she is highlighting my insecure foundation. So here is the lesson – awareness of your insecure self must be healed in order to live with a secure and easy energy.

My insecure self, fears my easy, secure spirit. My insecure self is anxious, confused, looking in so many places for information, answers. She makes plans, turns ideas and information over in her mind. Constantly putting the pieces together and then rearranging those very same pieces. She tries to answer all the possible questions, anticipate every move of the players and the outside circumstances. Feverishly rearranging the pieces, trying to make a creation that produces peace, calm, and understanding thereby feeling secure. My insecure self can never get to security through these processes. The constant thinking, planning, evaluating, rearranging and reengaging creates the insecurity. Constantly working from outside information or outsider information.

But Ms. Secure, my highest self, has insider information. She knowingly leans over and reaches into a magical bag or purse or maybe even a doctors bag and pulls out what she needs. She is strong, moves with ease. There isn’t multiple steps and careful pondering and rearranging to gain the  knowledge needed in a situation. There is an internal quiet and understanding that dipping inward provides the message. The message is given on a small piece of paper with a quiet mind, a deliberate bow from a reverent posture. It only requires reading it, believing it and acting on it. Again and again.